Jumpee to the rescue

What follows is a Jumpee that I wrote for Snippy… Enjoy!!!

Somebody has to save this blog and it might as well be me. This is the story of how yours truly managed to dye his hair red…BY ACCIDENT!!!

So there I was, eleven years old and sporting a high-top fade; don’t blame me, that was just the style of the time. As per usual, I was running late for the bus. Now riding the same bus my whole life with my bus driver Mr. Sealy was always hilarious. He had driven my older sister to school and had known me all my life. He was a good ol’ country boy and the shop teacher. There was the rumor that he only had one testicle as the result of being gored by bull during a rodeo event. Oh and everyday (and this will explain A LOT TO A LOT OF PEOPLE) and I do mean everyday, he would blare Slippery When Wet on his radio. Now this description of Mr. Sealy holds no bearing on the story of my red hair, but who doesn’t like hearing about a one testicled bull riding Jon Bon Jovi singing school bus driver.

Now on to me and my being late for the bus. You see, I was always a pretty boy. Already late, I didn’t have that much time to fix my hair. I had a high-top fade and it wasn’t appropriately coiffed and action needed to be taken. By this time my sister had moved out so I couldn’t steal any of her hair products, so I darted into my moms bathroom. I grabbed the first bottle that looked like it would be of some use to me. Spritzing and darting out the house in a mad dash to get my morning JBJ fix… ’scuse me for a second’

* (furiously playing air guitar)
Shot through the heart
And you’re to blame
You give love a bad name
I play my part and you play your game
You give love a bad name
You give love a bad name*

Sorry just had to get that out of my system. Back on topic:

Spritzing and darting out the house in a mad dash to catch the bus, I gave little to no thought about my hair and what I was putting in it. I was sure that it would suffice until gym class and then I would have to redo it anyway.

Arriving at school, I go to hang out with some of my friends before homeroom. There was a bully that didn’t give me so much trouble because he knew my cousins would crush him, but he always tried to have something smart to say. So when he made a flippant comment about my hair looking like I had dipped it in kool-aid, I thought nothing of it. However, when my friend Justin informed me that, indeed, there was something a bit more colorful going on with my “do”, I thought I may need to check it out.

I sprinted to the nearest bathroom and found a mirror followed by my crew, who at this point were laughing and calling me “Malcolm”. Upon gazing at my emblazoned visage in the mirror, it was unmistakable; somehow, I had turned my hair red. Shocked and awed more than some country that’s pissed off President Bush, I quickly went into spin control. Knowing that not liking it myself would have only lent myself to more ridicule, I had to embrace the change in my appearance. I was now “Red” just as Malcolm X was before. LOL

That was a long day, but I still had no idea what had happened. I tore through the front door and called my mom at work. “Momma… I turned my hair red.” All she did was laugh. That’s my momma for you. LOL So she asked what I put in my hair. Describing the bottle that I grabbed from her counter that didn’t really have a label, I was informed that I had grabbed this:

*editors note: The original bottle did not look like this. I would have known better to grab something pink. The bottle I grabbed was white with a rubbed off white label. LOL*

When it was all said and done, it was great for my persona. I worked the whole red hair thing and continued to use Sun In for several years. Finally around the age of 14 I discontinued use and went back to my natural color. Six years later I began to shave my hair completely. So that’s the story of one man’s bout with hair coloring. Hope you enjoyed. Now back to your regularly schedule programing.