Non-Sequitur

I have these great Silencio Magnum noise canceling hearing protectors that I “liberated” from this crazy guy’s (Crazy Bob we called him) desk after he left the company. I didn’t get any of the good pens that he had been hoarding or the girl he had tied up under the desk, just the crappy headphones as everyone else had gotten to all of the good stuff before I knew he had left.

Well fast forward to a year and a half later and it seems I have a need for my Silencio Magnums…my officemate. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I hate him, he’s just loud. Very. Also he just quit smoking so now he chews his nicorette all day…..with his MOUTH OPEN!!! It’s like a cow. Now I’m not one tell someone about their personal habits because nobody ever takes that well and I prefer not to hate coming to work, so I figure that I’ll just insert the Silencio Magnums into the equation and solve my dilemma.

So I whip them out and insert my earphones into the Silencio Magnums so I can listen to 1300 the Zone streaming on my computer. Everything is going well until Jim Rome comes on. Jim Rome isn’t streamed so I had nothing to listen to. Through the quiet all I could hear was a faint heartbeat. I figured it was my heartbeat that I was hearing…until it stopped.

The following questions need to be answered…

Was Crazy Bob really crazy?
If so, did the Silencio Magnums drive ol’ Bob to insanity?
Are the Silencio Magnum headphones haunted?
If so, am I in danger of going crazy?
Will it be a short trip?
Is this kinda like when Homer got Snake’s hair in a transplant during a Treehouse of Horror episode?
Would crazy be worse than listening to someone chew gum with their mouth open ALL DAY?